" I like to have a glass of wine to relax after a long glass of wine."
" In my defense, I was left unsupervised."
" Next time a stranger talks to me, I'm going to look shocked and whisper, "you can see me?"
" I don't know about you, but I've thought more about running away as an adult than I ever did as a child."
" Don't you wish we could just play an old fashioned game of Red Rover, clothesline the people that aggravate us, and call it a day?"
" If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." And people wonder why I'm so quiet.
" I'm sorry I pushed all your buttons. I was looking for MUTE."
" Everyone was thinking it. I just said it."
"I pretend to like people everyday It's called being an adult. It's also why we are allowed to buy alcohol."
'You know you are really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves."
"When your thighs touch you are one step closer to becoming a mermaid. Who's the real winner here?"
"That moment you realize your fat pants are now your regular pants, and you need new fat pants."
"There is nothing to fear but fear itself...and spiders. Definitely spiders."
"I'm the type of person who will bust out laughing in a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday."
Neoprene Coaster for all occasions.
White Top- Black base