"It's not worth the jail time. It's not worth the jail time. It's not worth the jail time. It's not worth the jail time. It's not worth the jail time."
"Does it count as saving a person's life if you simply refrain from killing them?"
"I don't mean to spoil the ending for you... But everything is going to be ok."
"I'd Like A Cafe Mocha, Valium, Vodka, Latte, Please."
"I have 3 hairstyles: 1. Up 2. Down and 3. Homeless"
"I'm not moody. I simply have days when I'm less inclined to put up with people."
"A boy told me I play like a girl. I told him if he tried harder, he could too."
"I'm old, but I feel like I'm 20. Then I hang out with 20-year-olds, and I'm like, nevermind, I'm old."
"The next time a stranger talks to me I'm going to look shocked and whisper, You can see me?"
"One day YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook will merge. It will be called YouTwitFace."
"Don't you wish we could play an old fashioned game of Red Rover, clothesline the people who aggravate us, and call it a day?"
"Dear Santa, It wasn't my fault."
"Without my morning coffee, I might as well be a DOG!"
"When I'm Lucky Enough to be at the mountains... I'm Lucky Enough."
"Read my Yips!"