"The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest."
"I'd like a Cafe Mocha, Valium, Vodka, Latte, Please."
"Coffee you're on the bench. Alcohol suit up."
"Everyone was thinking it, I just said it."
"A boy told me I play like a girl. I told him if he tried harder, he could too."
"When the grammer police get upset, I calm them by saying, There, They're, Their."
"My dentist said I need a crown. And I was like, I know, right?"
"I'm allergic to stupid. I break out in sarcasm."
"so when's the wizard going to get back to you about that brain?"
"No Wake Zone"
"March to your own drum."
"Let me get this straight. I'm supposed to pay money for a dead tree, not get fraked out by a fat guy in a red uit , and eat candy out of my socks?"
"This year Mr. Snowman thought he'd quit while he was a head."
"I want to be Santa, he knows where all the bad boys live."
"You call me a BEACH like it's a BAD thing!"
"Born to Golf, Forced to Work"
"Like I said officer... He called me a HO! THREE times!"
"Not a Morning Person doesn't even Begin to describe it!"
"Keep it Reel"
"When Snowmen go bad."
"Makes me Shutter"
"Does this saddle make my butt look big?"
"I'm still HOT...it just comes in Flashes!"
"There is a very fine line between a Hobby and MENTAL ILLNESS"
"Life's a beach and then you fry."
"Could you come back in a few beers?"